![]() ![]() And so many of our experiences have confirmed this. We can never have a good life because we are the problem. We have spent our lives being told we are worthless and the people who succeed in life are perfect. We have parts who are waiting to be good enough. Our lives start when we give ourselves permission to start it, to take those empowered steps forward. We want another person to give us their approval, to give us the green light. We have parts who are waiting for somebody to come along and tell us we can start living. We have parts who don’t understand we are empowered adults who can take whatever action necessary to move our lives forward, to stop our traumatic patterns. We have parts who believe we cannot live life without others. I am waiting for resolution from strangers who don’t remember me. Wow! What a realization that is! I have discovered I am holding contracts with people and I don’t even remember their name. Anyone who ever told us we owe them something is likely to be sitting in our unconscious holding us back. And while I originally thought these parts only held contracts with our abusers in a trauma-bonded way, I now realize that our abuser contracts primed us to take on other contracts. They want their relationship patterns to be resolved without having to let it all go. They want the love and attention they never received from our abusers or from someone just like our abusers. ![]() They want our original relationships to become something they will never be. They want our abusers to say they are sorry. But while our adult selves can understand this intellectually, it is an entirely different matter for our inner children. ![]() What is it we are all waiting for? And honestly, there are quite a few things. This is not a new concept, but it seems to have hit me at a deeper level. I realized I have always been waiting to officially start my life. I have taken many empowered steps to change my life patterns, but I realized I have been waiting for something. And while I have been aware for quite some time that I am living my life, some of my inner parts were really affected by these statements. She said, “When is our life going to start?” ![]() They were discussing buying houses and having babies. They were talking about the external milestones of life. I was watching a movie last night and the actors had a conversation that stuck with me. ![]()
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